You Walked Away


 


A poem  in 42 words

I needed you that day,and begged for you to stay.
But as usual you walked away,
tossed me off like an old baseball cap.
I will not beg again.
You broke my heart.
Far too many scattered pieces,
wounded beyond repair.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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This entry was posted in Fiction, Poetry, Writing and tagged , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

27 Responses to You Walked Away

  1. You know what I love? That third line- It breaks the flowing rhyme of the first two lines- ‘threw me off like an old baseball cap’. That abrupt break talks about the shattering of hope. So effective. By the way, did you like my new blog? Thanks for visiting earlier :)

  2. Jennifer G. Knoblock says:

    “tossed me off like an old baseball cap.” Great visual image!

  3. C.C. says:

    Love the imagery….and “I will not beg again” tells so much of the back story! Powerful.

  4. Suzanne says:

    Love the strength in the line “I will not beg again” – and the imagery of the baseball cap is fantastic.

  5. Great writing and perfect imagery. Nice job!

  6. Robbie says:

    Great story in so few words.

  7. Leah Sakacs says:

    No one is worth begging for. Great capture of emotion here.

  8. “I will not beg again.” Very powerful.

  9. Beautiful…been there, done that. In a way. Loved it!

  10. trev says:

    to be left hanging like that.. all alone with no one but yourself to sort things out …
    they say it builds character and strength in one’s own abilities and self belief Sue…
    but such experiences can make one hard and unapproachable and singular, that sometimes is the downside of being so self confident I feel…
    you certainly know how to push my buttons Sue… :-) … in just a few words and I want to write a novel about it… LOL… brilliant write, full of emotion, pain and anger… loved it girl… :-)

  11. KymmInBarcelona says:

    Yeah, being tossed off like an old baseball cap, that’ll do it. Perfectly expressed!

  12. Christine says:

    This poem is loaded with anger and pain. I agree about the baseball cap – it’s a great image, very tangible. Nice response to the question. Thanks for linking it up!

  13. jetgirlcos says:

    It’s so evocative…”wounded beyond repair.” Indeed, one cannot, as they say, “unscramble an egg.” Thanks for sharing this, it’s very powerful.

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