Following is a series of Public Service Announcements sponsored by the Canadian Vampire Consortium (CVC)
Broadcast on the Vampire Broadcasting Network (VBN) just before dawn for the target audience. ( It is at that time that most vampires are relaxing at the end of a long night before they crawl into their coffins for the day.)
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Stake Prevention—Yes, you wood not
BewEre of Dogs
Please be advised, when hunting for your dinner, avoid dogs. These animals have been extremely prevalent in the area, especially in the vicinity of the local blood banks. We have received revelations of shoplifting at these fast food spots with the culprits making a quick exodus. We cannot confirm who is responsible for these thefts.
A meeting will be held tomorrow, August 25, at midnight in the cemetery on the North end of town. All ages welcome, especially fledglings. DO NOT ON ANY ACCOUNT frequent the cemetery at the South end as it is used as a lovers’ lane by the neighbouring human population. We are attempting to maintain our present good relationship with the locals.
Invitation to the group of vampires who enjoyed their movie snacks at the local drive in. Please report to the commander of the CVC for punitive measures. We trust that the guilty party(ies) will come forth voluntarily. Thank you for your support. Please note: we have sent a formal apology to the local Head of Humans vowing this incident would never be repeated.
Visitation for our lost brethren will be held at the city dump. As you are aware, on the night of August 27 a group of ill advised vampires deliberately entered the local Pack’s territory and were consumed. Their ashes will be available for viewing from 11 pm to 1 am, wind velocity permitting. Clan officials: please advise who is missing from your group so that we may register the names of those who have moved from the undead to the dead. Donations will be graciously accepted to the Federation of Wild Life (FOWL).
The CVC is pleased to welcome the Werewolf community and to announce our first annual meeting. This special event will include skinny dipping. * We encourage our new brothers and sisters to attend our regularly scheduled meetings held on the first full moon of each month. Our new location is the wooded area six miles south of town. Please note: the CVC is hereby renamed the CLC (Canadian Lycanthrope Consortium) pending the vote at the first meeting. Thank you for your support and we look forward to a good turn-out.
*This entertainment could not be offered under the auspices of the CVC. As relief from the heat we welcome our two-natured friends in their animal form to partake of our new activity schedule tailored to meet your needs.
Blogophilia 26.4 Topic: “Skinny Dipping”
(Hard, 2pts): Include the names of 2 books from the Bible
(Easy, 1pt): Mention ‘shoplifting’