Auditory Voyeurism for Blogophilia 27.4

If you’re like me, then you love practicing auditory voyeurism*: listening in on other people’s conversations and with cell phones that is so easy as the people on the phone don’t know or care that they are overheard. And then I like to guess who these people are and their relationships.

* eavesdropping – the term was made up by a friend on My Space.

Recently when  dining in a local restaurant, one of my companions and I got into an argument. As the woman next to our table was leaving she admitted to me that she had been listening to us—how could she not have heard our loud voices? And made a comment about the book we had been discussing. I’ve never experienced that before and while I certainly indulge in eavesdropping, I certainly wouldn’t admit it!

When I took the humour writing course last spring the teacher told us to listen in to conversations as some pretty funny material can be heard that way. He sure was correct!

So here is the scene – a restaurant – and overheard snippets of conversation. But I will also tell you the people involved and the context. Because I’m nice that way :D.


The walls can hear you, they have ears.

This from the mousey looking woman at the table to my left. Her companion was a good looking, well dressed man. They are husband and wife, and for the most part don’t speak to each other. Very married.

The remark was made in reference to one of her patients. She’s psychiatrist.


The play was an original production based on a mishmash of Kafka themes, kind of like a painting where some see symbolism and metaphors in the splash and dabs of paint.

This from one of the gentlemen to the right of me. For the most part, I couldn’t hear their conversation. They were both good looking men.  The one who spoke had a small, neatly trimmed beard and an accent I couldn’t place. He also wore a red beret—indoors, the waiter kept frowning at him.  The only thing I was able to catch from the other fellow was “Vote Tyler” which made no sense.  Though that may have been his name and he called his friend David II. Perhaps to distinguish himself from another person named Dave? I don’t know. At any rate they were speaking about a play they had just seen. But I also caught the names of Clint Eastwood and Charlie Sheen, so I was very confused. Which is one of the problems with just hearing snippets of their exchange.  They both seemed pretty serious and didn’t laugh much.

At the table behind me sat a beautiful couple, obviously very much in love. They didn’t stop speaking to each other and occasionally one or both of them burst out into loud giggles (her), long deep chortles (him) or laughter (both).

The words I heard here made no sense whatsoever. Be My Lover, Call it Evil and Go to Hell.

And now through the magic of Blogophila you will learn who they are and what they were speaking about. As I said, I’m nice like that 🙂

He’s an agent of the Devil (fondly called Mr. D) and she, his mistress. Hence the Be my Lover from him to her.

She was concerned that her friends would call it evil, her dating such a man.

And he warned her that she could go to hell if Mr. D so ordered it. He just wanted her to be clear about the risks she was taking by being with him.

Well I wish them the best of luck.

See you really have no idea who your fellow diners might be.




written for:

Blogophilia 27.4 Topic: “The Walls Have Ears”
Bonus Points:(Hard, 2pts): use a phrase from one of David II’s blogs


 (Easy, 1pt): use an Alice Cooper song title

 used three Be My Lover, Call it Evil and Go to Hell




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31 Responses to Auditory Voyeurism for Blogophilia 27.4

  1. cute write Sassy ah Tyler and David I miss them. I try not to listen in as My Mom would always tell me people’s conversations are for their ears only` lol

  2. Liam says:

    cute awesome read this made me feel good.

  3. Tyler says:

    Certain famous screenwriters are know to wear red berets as a homage to their muse – or so I’ve been told.

  4. I, too, engage in auditory voyeurism. It is more fun when the user is alone with a headset. In the old days, we would have referred to them as “tetched in the head” for talking to themselves.

  5. Irene Melgoza says:

    Hmmmm…I don’t think I’d ever have the courage to let people that I was eavesdropping on their conversation. Sometimes, though, I wish people would not be too damn loud while in their cell phones. Every other word coming out of their mouths is f* this or f* that.

  6. Marvin Martian says:

    8 points Earthling! 🙂 You’ll not be going to hell for this blog! Loved it

  7. Ev says:

    Haha…Mr. D…could that possibly be a euphemism for David? 🙂 Great write!

  8. This was a fun one! I overheard a good one the other day at Shoney’s. a family came in (mom, dad, son) and looked through the menus. The husband proceeded to read the menu aloud, including the Pile O shrimp platter – which he repeats multiple times. Finally the wife made some remark about it and he said “I’m just trying to help you decide. Look, here, you could get the Pile O Shrimp”.
    She says, “No, I don’t want that. You could get it.”
    he says no, he’s getting something else.
    The preteen daughter arrives. they discuss whether she wants an adult meal or a kids, and Dad says, “you two could get the Pile O shrimp platter and share.”
    Mom, clearly a bit annoyed, says “No, I’m not a sharing kinda gal.”
    He says, “Oh, that’s right. You wouldn’t share with me last night.”
    “Shut up!”

    Heh-heh. He never did talk any of them into that shrimp. Funny thing is, that’s what I had already ordered :p

  9. I’m pretty sure they were discussing The Rookie and I’m pretty certain that The David is the rookie because I’m certain Tyler is not.

    Fellini and I adopted the screenplay from Kafka’s The Metamorphosis. The Broadway musical was called Nine.


    Loved your blog. It was spot on.

  10. bluerose says:

    LOL! auditory voyeurism – what a great term. I’ve been known to do that ;). It was a lot easier when I still had my hearing. Too much loud music, I guess.

    I’m going to take your teacher’s advice. I’ll let you know if it inspires anything.

    great blog!

  11. joaniethewriter says:

    My favorite thing to do is people watch. I prefer to make up things regarding what they are talking about. It is usually more interesting than hearing what they have to say. I don’t like to spy on purpose, but sometimes, you just can’t help it!

  12. Sue says:

    I think we all do that 😀

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