grant me the serenity
to accept the prompts I cannot change;
courage to incorporate creatively;
and wisdom to guess Marvin’s secret phrases.
“Hello my name is David and I am a blogophiliac.”
The large group seated in the basement of Marvin’s spaceship replied, “Hello David!”
“And thank you Marvin for the use of your ship.”
“Welcome to the hebdomadal session of Blogophiliacs Anonymous held every Monday at 7 P.M. EST.”
A buzz like whisper is heard from the audience . “You can tell how much of an addict someone is by how many former prompts they use in their speech.”
“We have a larger than usual group tonight. I see the regular participants, of course, the irregular group, the lurkers, the hanger- ons and the off- shore people all gathered for this week’s special session.”
Unfortunately Dahlia could not be here tonight as she was feeling blue.
And I hate to announce this, but whoever brought their pet goldfish – squints into the crowd – Tommy smelled the fear and their good-bye was not long.
“We may not be able to get to everyone this week as we are only allowed use of ths space for two hours when Marvin takes his normally scheduled cruise over middle America. As we know, he does this to reinforce the natives’ belief in flying saucers and to take the pressure off that at least one Martian has landed and to throw suspicion away from Blogophiliacs are taking over the world.”
“Oh, I guess I should mention, on the back table there we’ve set out some refreshments: coffee, water and Coca Cola. and Moxie. Sorry no wine tonight. (An “argh” is heard from Colleen.)
“Who would like to speak next ?”
Thomcat jumped out of his seat and ran to the front of the room.
“Hi I’m Thomcat and I’m a blogophiliac.”
“Well I thought I had my addiction licked. For quite a while I managed not to indulge in the group writing.”
“I was doing great until Marvin, the leader of Blogophilia, issued prompts one week and all of a sudden the urge struck me and I wrote and wrote and wrote and you,” scowls at the audience, “encouraged me and were no help at all in my recovery and you said it is good Thomcat. We want more. And so help me (tears slide down his cheeks ) I gave you more and then again and the writing became longer and more descriptive and my imagination ran wild and I could not stop Now I am hooked again.”
He bowed his head in shame and over come with emotion stumbled back to his seat.
People sat stunned, clicking their tongues in pity for the poor man.
A woman approached from the left side of the room and slowly approached the dais, obviously lost in thought.
“Hello I’m Sue and I’m a Blogophiliac.”
“Hello Sue !”
“Sometimes we have a condition that we are unaware of and it takes the right set of circumstances to bring it out.”
“I was going along perfectly ok blogging my little meaningless writes and occasionally reading some of the submissions to Blogophila. I had recently met Just Jeff and started reading his and then others.”
Peering out to the crowed, “Jeff isn’t even here tonight. He got me hooked and now he’s disappeared, left me dangling in the wind and he’s gone back to his own dark, sick musings. He’s never even asked if I’m ok.” (sobs)
“Well I’m not. One beautiful July day over a year ago I submitted my first bloggy. It was fun, so I thought, to write something incorporating the absurd prompts that were given that week ( glares at Marvin) They were: ‘within an inch’, ‘sarcastic butler’, ‘playing the harmonica’ and an ‘English breakfast’. How sick is that to start with such crazy prompts and of course they’ve gotten worse over the year. But I was given such a warm welcome and people praised me and encouraged me…”
“We all love praise and, by the way I looked at that blog and Thomcat was the most encouraging of all and told me to stick with David and Tyler – now, now do you understand why I kept at it and didn’t give it up?” Are you happy now Thomcat? (She’s screaming with hysterical, hypnotized eyes.) You’re hooked again now too. Serves you right.”
Anther buzz from the audience. Gee she looks awful, totally drained.
“But then I couldn’t stop And I came back week after week never missing no matter what and now I arrange my Monday nights around 7 P.M. and the prompts get harder and now we have 3 pics to guess (bet it was Commander K who came up with that one!) and I struggle each week asking myself what can I write about now? I have to write something It’s evil I tell you, evil and I can’t stop” Her voice becomes softer “I don’t want to stop.”
She bows her head in shame and returns to her seat.
The audience clicks their tongues in pity for the poor woman.
Another woman casually and self confidently strolls up to the spotlight.
“Hi, I’m Ev. And I can control my addiction!”
The audience hisses.
“Yes, I can. I can control it and now instead of poetry to torture people’s souls with I write scary mystery stories.”
“I used to write all sorts of poetry forms. I’d really mix it up”. She says this proudly thrusting out her chest and with a big grin.
“In fact I got Sue hooked on those poetry forms. She had to know them all. ”
Applause from the poet’s section – Michelle, Colleen, Myke, Ruggi, etc
“I have my addiction under control and I should get a pin saying so! And I should get it today not tomorrow.”. Stamps foot.
The crowd watches her as she stomps off the stage in disgust.
The audience looks to each other and just shrugs their shoulders.
This piece is written for fun and in no way is to be taken to diminish the good work of any organization, person or program.
Blogophilia 29.4 Topic: “Today, Not Tomorrow”
(Hard, 2pts): include a Raymond Chandler Novel
(Easy, 1pt): mention a brand of soda