Sweet Saturday Sample – 10/22

Hi there. I’m a first time participant to the  Sweet Saturday Sample 

Some of you might know me from Six Sentence Sunday.

I’m always interested in trying something new. 😀

Today’s sample is from a  flash fiction piece I wrote a while ago. I had intended  to write a series of stories about The adventures of Crimson, a little vampire girl, but it didn’t work out. 

In an old house that was painted red,

lived twenty school children, newly dead.

 Crimson Goes Fishing

The children sneaked out of the house making as little noise as they possibly could. The cool night air felt refreshing on their school room heated skin.  They ran down the road to the creek hoping to find some fishers trying their luck.

If the head master of their boarding school found out they had slipped away when they should have been in study hall, there would be hell to pay. If the Stakeholders who administered the school learned of their foolish behaviour, the school could be in serious trouble.

On nights with a full moon and calm winds, the children knew the locals  would come to the creek, even though fishing was prohibited. And the children were forbidden from going near the locals.  But the children could not resist visiting the spot in the hopes of a special little treat. They knew it was wrong and against the rules and that the rules were in place for their own safety.   Even so they could not resist. Kids will be kids. The children wished more of their neighbours took advantage of the good fishing. As it was, the little group was lucky if even one of them got to savor a snack

They crouched in the bushes, and behind the rocks. The air smelled of spring and  muddy puddles still lingered from the recent rains.  Ruby whispered to Crimson, “Look, I think I see some guys coming down the path.”

Rednick, on the other side of Crimson, poked her to be quiet. The three of them waited and watched.

Sure enough,  three men set up their folding chairs, opened their tackle boxes and prepared to ready their lines  in the hopes of catching some fish for dinner.

The man in the  middle seemed to have a problem tying his lure to the line. “Stupid lure won’t hook on right. Can’t get the knot tight enough. Ouch, dammit. The freaking hook went right into my finger, and now it’s bleeding.”

The other two men  were too concerned with their own equipment to notice their friend had hurt himself.

Before going out the children  chose who would go first if they were successful in their quest. Quicker than white on rice Rednick dashed out of his hiding spot.


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30 Responses to Sweet Saturday Sample – 10/22

  1. Pingback: #SweetSat 10/22/2011 « Mysteries and Histories

  2. Pingback: The Sweet List 10/22/2011 | Sweet Saturday Samples

  3. Welcome to Sweet Saturday! A great way to start. This sample is fun and mischievous 🙂

  4. Jennifer Lowery~Writer says:

    Welcome to SSS! You’re off to a great start with this sample! Can’t wait to find out what happens next.

  5. Lia Davis says:

    Welcome! This is a fun sample. Thanks for sharing.

  6. ldowns2966 says:

    Welcome Sue.
    Loved the little world you created here.

  7. jennajaxon says:

    I was hooked from the preamble, “In an old house that was painted red/lived twenty school children, newly dead.” Wonderful hook. Can’t wait to see what happens! I’m really sorry this series didn’t pan out. Are you sure there are no more? Great start to your Sweet Saturday posts. 🙂

  8. Marsha Ward says:

    Very intriguing, Sue! What a good way to begin participating in Sweet Saturday Samples.

  9. mirriamsmyth says:

    Welcome to Sweet Saturdays! 🙂 Love your sample – kids will definitely be kids.

  10. What an interesting sample. It gives a whole different point of view. Thanks for joining us!

  11. Intriguing premise! This sounds like a fun story. I’m looking forward to reading more.

  12. J.A. Beard says:

    A fun little snippet. I enjoyed it.

  13. Sherry Gloag says:

    What a delightful first offering 🙂 Welcome to Sweet Saturday samples.

  14. I’m so curious! Newly dead? Now I want to know all about them. How did they die? What are they going to do to those fishermen? Very nice sample!
    Thanks for stopping by my site:)

  15. :[ <— vampire happiness 🙂

  16. Pingback: Lots-O-Links #16 « Amaranthine Night

  17. Juli Hoffman says:

    This is cute, Sue! I like the poem at the beginning too. It reminds me of the Madeline storys. I loved those when I was a kid.

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