Six Sentence Sunday June 24

Yea! It’s Sunday and time for Six Sentence Sunday

Every week participants post six sentences from something they are writing – or have written. It’s a lot of fun and really a great way to meet new writers!

And I’ve met some terrific people. Thank you !

Be sure to check out the other great participants and thanks so much for stopping by.

It saddened me, though I understand the rationale, to read that SSS will be ending next year. I am very thankful for this group and I’ve met some wonderful poeple. As a new writer the weekly comments proved invaluable.

Set up: Phoebe and Gideon are in a hotel room getting acquainted. He’s poured two glasses of red wine.

The wine’s fragrance piqued his curiosity and aroused his imagination with regard to Phoebe’s bouquet.

Would it be sweet and mellow, tangy or spicy?

The drops glistening on her well shaped lips teased him to taste her mouth.

He took her glass, and together with his, let them land with a small clink on a little table.

Earlier his trousers had fit loosely with room to spare, but now he could practically hear his cock begging to be set free.

“I want you.”

















This entry was posted in Fiction, Six Sentence, Writing and tagged , , . Bookmark the permalink.

37 Responses to Six Sentence Sunday June 24

  1. Wildcat's Wife says:

    There’s something delicious about a glass of wine in a romantic setting, really sets tone and mood. Nice 6!

  2. Jenna Jaxon says:

    Love his directness. “I want you.” Yet it seems to be said not with just sex in mind. He wants “her” not just her body. But then I love Gideon, so he could say just about anything and I’d love it. LOL Great six, Sue.

    • Sue says:

      Gideon told me he’d take you up on that but he would never cheat on Phoebe, and anyway, he’s afraid of that medeival hero of yours…

  3. Jessica Subject says:

    Very sexy! And I like the new look of your blog. 🙂

  4. Alix Cameron says:

    I like the new look too, and Set him free! 😉

  5. J.M. Blackman says:

    Ditto on the new look and you’e got a way with settings, Sue. And mood. You present them so well. You really feel like you’re standing there. Which, of course, put me in the odd position of whether I should look away. 😉

  6. KE Saxon says:

    I’m with Alix! Set that bad boy free, LOL! But seriously, I loved how you set the scene and mood so well. Great six!!

  7. Elin Gregory says:

    Nicely set up. There’s a relaxed yet anticipatory mood. Well written.

  8. Cara Bristol says:

    I DO like the scene, the use of all the senses. You can see it, hear it, taste it, smell it. I particularly like the clink of the glasses.

    This line strikes me as a bit mixed metaphor: “Earlier his trousers had fit loosely with room to spare, but now he could practically hear his cock begging to be set free.” It mixes fit (touch) with sound. I would suggest something like his trousers had fit loosely, and then were bursting at the zipper or his cock had been quiet but was now begging to be set free.

    • Sue says:

      How about: Earlier his cock lay soft and flaccid in his trousers but now the turgidness strained the fabric to the breaking point

  9. Nothing like sweet and simple 🙂

  10. Gemma Parkes says:

    Love this snippet, love your use of senses and sensation, well done!

  11. Karyn Good says:

    Sexy six! I admire his direct approach 😀

  12. Silver James says:

    Excellent use of description here. Very sensual. I do agree with Cara about the last line, though. Everything leading up to it was so “active” and then it sort of went passive and less direct. Cara had some good suggestions.

  13. Dee Carney says:

    Love the physical reaction he has. Nicely written!

  14. Kate Warren says:

    Very nice set up with the wine.

  15. Jess Schira says:

    This is a lovely piece of blunt writing. I like it.

  16. KE Saxon says:

    Alright, as I was saying before my computer crashed for the umpteenth time this morning…*BIG SIGH* This is such evocative writing, Sue. Poetic and lovely. Great six!!

Aw come on say something....

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s