Gideon knew Phoebe would be home from work by now. As he stepped over the threshold he began to shuck his clothes, turned down the hallway, hoping to find her in his favourite outfit of flimsy blue pajamas, easily removed. At the door to the bedroom, still no Phoebe. Where was she? By this time he was entirely unclothed.
He grabbed the mug (showing devil’s horns with the word Horny in big red letters) he had purchased at the convention and strode into the kitchen, still no Phoebe, but he heard voices and music coming from the living room. The song playing was Sugar, sugar by the Lovin’ Spoonful. (aside: quite appropriate since his sugar was showing.)
Standing at the entrance, still clutching the mug, he froze.
Oh oh Charles and Beth are here. He completely forgot they had been invited for dinner. Vaguely, he remembered Beth saying she was leaving the convention early to go home and change and “see you later.”
Charles leisurely looked up, plunked his beer bottle on the tray with a small clatter and gazed at Gideon.
“Y’all might think about putting on some clothes before dinner. And you don’t need the mug to advertise your mood. Your protruding arousal says it all.
You would have been better off shoving a fig leaf or some tea leaves in front of you instead of that cup.”
The two women hugged each other on the couch, convulsed in giggles with tears streaming down their faces. Gideon glared at them with narrowed eyes in disapproval.
“It is not often that one sees a devil’s agent blush,” Beth sputtered, and fell back against the cushions gleefully laughing. Gideon supposed his face had turned red when he noticed the presence of the other couple. He felt himself flush, again, which made the others hoot all the harder (pun intended).
Finally Phoebe gained control of herself. “Sweetie, why don’t you go and get dressed. I’ll fetch the appetizers to the table. What do you want to drink?”
“Scotch straight up.” The reply flowed from the hall as Gideon ran to the bedroom.
His remark caused the others to start chuckling all over again.
A few minutes Gideon arrived in the dining room fully clothed. Beth looked at him and with a smile in her voice said, “Your red sweater almost matches your cheeks.”
“I cannot still be blushing?”
“No but you are pink around the edges.”
He looked to Phoebe for support. She was his partner and should back him up.
“I’m sorry sweetie but that was too funny. We’re all aboard and ready for dinner. Just accept it as your most embarrassing moment and move on.
“My dear you must respect me. I am 182 years old and work for the Devil. You ought not to make fun of me.”
“Yes that’s true but I wasn’t ridiculing you. Your sense of humour is still a work in progress. If Charles and Beth weren’t here I may have reacted differently. Especially with the mug dangling off your ……junk,” she waved her hand in the direction of his groin.
Now he felt totally humiliated. When he had entered the room and realised that Phoebe was not alone, he wished to put the cup down on something and he slid his “junk” through the handle. He hadn’t noticed it until Charles’ comment. His erection collapsed and the ceramic goblet fell soundlessly onto the thick blue carpet. It did not break. Phoebe had placed it in the middle of the coffee table where it currently sat, mocking him.
“Do you wish us to leave?” Charles half rose from his seat. He and Gideon had been close friends for two years and had many fun times together. Gideon knew Charles would not miss this for the world.
“No no stay, dinner is ready and we haven’t had a good visit in a while.” Phoebe placed the salad bowl at the centre of the table.
Charles sat back down, obviously relieved.
With a growl Gideon settled himself into his chair. “And do not any of you mention this incident to the rest of the group or I will …”
Beth calmly speared a lettuce leaf. “You will what Gideon? You know we will be on the phone as soon as we get home. We may even stop at Victor’s on the way. We have no secrets so do not expect us to keep this either.” After she chewed, she tapped the fork against her teeth in thought. “We have never practiced practical jokes. It has not been our style. Perhaps that should change. And I see the gleam in your brown eyes Gideon. I am well aware you are scheming to prank someone else.”
Gideon looked over to Phoebe and Charles. Phoebe’s eyes were wide open in terror, no doubt thinking of the horrifying gags that could easily be played on her, particularly since she was vertically challenged. Charles, who had learned to hide his facial expressions from his students, seemed composed and quietly ate his salad. But Gideon understood his best friend very well and imagined the hamster on the treadmill in his brain running at full tilt.
Oh dear. What had Beth started with her remarks?
the queen of them all
Blogophilia week 32.5 – All Aboard!
(Hard, 2pts): Incorporate tea leaves and tears in your blog
(Easy, 1pt): Include a spoonful of sugar