WeWriWa


I missed last week but have found my Sunday place now 😀

The WIP is The Soul Collector’s Second Chance. I am concentrating on the end of the story  where the communication demons enter the picture. A blurb can be found here.

The group has instructed Gideon to make contact with the department of demons, and specifically his former messenger imp, for their best chance to get an answer to the punishment of the thirty day Regulation.

After the meeting, Gideon texted customer services to contact the old messenger imp he had worked with a century ago. 

He did not know how long they stay on the job but knew  their services have been phased out, oh probably, since telephones.  

The department  sent back a form to be completed  and now all Gideon could do was wait. 

Thinking that the phone would never ring to notify him me that his old demon friend has been found, one evening he took a walk.  

The weather had turned, the wind bit into him and he smelled snow in the air.  

It did not matter.  

The importance of learning the answers to the group’s questions occupied his mind. 

If this course of action did not pan out he did not know what to do.

 

Advertisements
This entry was posted in Fiction, Weekend Writing Warriors, Writing and tagged , , . Bookmark the permalink.

31 Responses to WeWriWa

  1. Gemma Parkes says:

    Great imagery, love the dilemma he faces too.

  2. The weather had turned, the wind bit into him and he smelled snow in the air. Nice line. Puts you in the scene.

  3. Gem Sivad says:

    I love the way you create a realistic background for your pragmatic demon/human couples.

  4. Nice touch with the bit about smelling snow in the air! Maybe make the part about the thoughts occupying his mind more active? Instead of telling us what he is thinking about – show us by giving us a specific thought.
    Just a thought 😉

  5. Debbie says:

    Am trying to picture what a messenger imp looks like and where can I get one? 🙂 Enjoyed the reference about smelling snow in the air. That is a real thing. Intrigued about the drama, as well.

    • Sue says:

      I do have a description of the imp – but it needs many more than 8 sentences, though I believe next week I reference a part of him, you can’t have one though cause you’re not a soul collector 😀

  6. epbeaumont says:

    One of the great challenges of writing fantastic or paranormal scenes is making them real, and you do so here, with worries about bureaucratic process and details about the weather. Messenger imps are perfectly ordinary here, as is coming snow; it’s the combination of the alien (to us) and the ordinary that puts us in the scene.

  7. So glad to find you again on here. Loved the background, pulled me right into the scene. I also loved the description of being able to smell snow in the air. Wow! loved it. Can’t wait for next week. Great job! 🙂

  8. Frank Fisher says:

    Great how you incorporate weather into the emotional description.

  9. Elin Gregory says:

    Very nice snippet. Gideon’s worry came through quite clearly. Teensy little bit of first person slipped into one sentence but I translated.

    • Sue says:

      yeah the draft is written in first person cause he’s telling the group what happened. I havent done much editing yet from the NaNo so it’s pretty rough. thanks for translating

  10. Kate Warren says:

    I find it hilarious that he had to fill out a form. So many people think of paperwork and forms AS Hell, and it turns out there are paperwork and forms IN Hell too! Your tense is a bit inconsistent, but this is a great snippet.

  11. Messenger imp – love it! This excerpt really snagged my attention and make me want to just keep reading – can’t wait for more. Umm, tiny thing? And it’s only because I’m editing my own manuscript today that it even crossed my threshold to notice but my Editor gives me heck for not using contractions (quite a few “did not”s there LOL) Best wishes!

  12. Love your worldbuilding details. Looking forward to more next Sunday!

  13. Wading through red tape is not just for us mortals, is it? Interesting story!

  14. siobhanmuir says:

    I liked the bureaucrasy he had to wade through. There were a couple places (the second and fourth sentences) where you switched tense, but otherwise good snippet, Sue. 🙂

  15. Jenna Jaxon says:

    I’ve noticed before that Gideon has enhanced senses and that is very nicely shown here. I can also feel his distress as the overall effect of your eight. Nice job!

  16. I do love the idea of messenger imps 🙂 Can’t wait for a good description! 😀

    So, WeWriWa is the new six-sentence-sunday-spin-off group you’ve joined?

Aw come on say something....

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s