Today is my first foray on Hump Day Hook. I decided to trot out, for its first public viewing one of my WIP, unnamed for now, called The Children on my computer. The story is a struggle for me and I need as much feedback as I can get.
The opening paragraph.
Ms Simmons rapped her knuckles on the desk at the front of the history class. She wore her “stern” face in an attempt to gain the students’ attention. A few murmurs and the sound of chairs scraping against the wood floor quieted down when she spoke. “May I have your attention please? I’d like to introduce a new student to our group.” The teacher stepped back allowing a young woman standing behind to move forward. Cobalt blue eyes dominated her face framed perfectly by pale almost translucent skin and white-blonde hair. “This is Charlotte and she is a recent transfer. Please make her feel welcome.” Craning her neck, she said, “I see a seat next to Robert. Robert, raise your hand please.” Charlotte walked to the spot indicated and gracefully sat.