Hump Day Hook – The Park


Last week I introduced Robert and Charlotte in my WIP presently titled The Children.

Thank you for your helpful comments. Today we meet four students from the class. There’s really no hook here, simply an introduction.


Genre: Fantasy, Coming of Age

Gladstone Thomas and his group of three friends since birth, know exactly what awaits them when they turn eighteen. Stone’s cousin, Robert Ward, owing to his helicopter mother, Sara, is unaware of his future. Meeting Charlotte, the new girl at school, is a life changer.  Gladstone and his buddies are witness to Robert’s transformation from an indifferent student, careless dresser and  narcissistic personality to a young man who accepts his responsibility.   Once Stone learns the key position Robert will play, they must work together to ensure success.


Stone Thomas, another student in the class had scrutinized Robert and Charlotte with interest.

After the third year history class, with an hour to kill before their next course, Stone and three other classmates gathered across the street in the park. The four had been friends since birth,  on the same day, June 11: Quinn Mulate, Stone’s girl friend, Kelly Hamilton and his girl friend Vonny Dillard. Whenever Stone thought about the group his chest swelled with pride.  They were all good looking, smart and with a love of fun and adventure. Naturally, in his opinion, Quinn was the most appealing, though Vonny, with her golden-brown hair and hazel eyes also received her share of wolf whistles from construction workers. However, she was more likely to give the guys the finger than to ignore them.  Most of the girls called Kelly, shorter than Stone’s six feet, with whiskey coloured eyes, a real ‘cutie’. 



This entry was posted in Fiction, Hump Day Hook, Writing and tagged , , . Bookmark the permalink.

19 Responses to Hump Day Hook – The Park

  1. Jessica Subject says:

    Interesting insight into the characters. 🙂

  2. pennyalley says:

    In a single paragraph, you’ve introduced your characters nicely. 🙂 Well done.

  3. lol a real cutie. Love it!

  4. R Lee Smith says:

    A smooth introduction and a nice set-up for action to follow. Great job!

  5. jabeardrf says:

    Lots of different personality will make for interesting drama.

  6. Great insight into the characters, well done 🙂

  7. VR Barkowski says:

    Oh, terrific character intro, Sue, although I admit the second line confused me a little. It might be clearer if you follow through and list the names up with with the first mention of “three other classmates.” [e.g. …Stone and three other classmates, his girlfriend Quinn Mulate, Kelly Hamilton and Kelly’s girl friend Vonny, gathered across the street in the park]. Then go on to mention how they were friends from birth, all born on the same day.

    You can tell me to shut up any time. I have thick skin. 🙂

    VR Barkowski

  8. Interesting tidbit that they all share the same birthday. Wonder what awaits them all when they turn 18 🙂 Nice 8 🙂

  9. Interesting tidbit that they all share the same birthday. Wonder what awaits them all when they turn 18 🙂 Nice 8 🙂
    My link is broken on my previous comment. 🙂

  10. valloryv says:

    I like the way you introduced the characters in the paragraph. Nicely done.

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