WeWriWa – In the Park


 

Happy Sunday!

Thank you for your helpful comments last week when we met Charlotte a new transfer to the school.

Today’s snippet finishes off the paragraph and starts the next section where we meet four students from the class.

Genre: Fantasy, Coming of Age

Gladstone Thomas and his group of three friends since birth, know exactly what awaits them when they turn eighteen. Stone’s cousin, Robert Ward, owing to his helicopter mother, Sara, is unaware of his future. Meeting Charlotte, the new girl at school, is a life changer.  Gladstone and his buddies are witness to Robert’s transformation from an indifferent student, careless dresser and  narcissistic personality to a young man who accepts his responsibility.   Once Stone learns the key position Robert will play, they must work together to ensure success.

***

For a moment Ms Simmons appeared undecided as to where Charlotte should sit, then said, “I see a seat next to Robert. Robert, raise your hand please.” Charlotte walked to the spot indicated and gracefully sat.

 ***

Stone Thomas, another student in the class had scrutinized Robert and Charlotte with interest.

After the third year history class, with an hour to kill before their next course, Stone and three other classmates: his girlfriend, Quinn Mulate, Kelly Hamilton and his girlfriend Vonny Dillard, gathered across the street in the park. The four had been friends since birth, all on the same day, June 11. Whenever Stone thought about the group  his chest swelled with pride. They were all good looking, smart and with a love of  fun and adventure.

 

 

 

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37 Responses to WeWriWa – In the Park

  1. interesting #8Sentence – intrigued by the four friends born on the same day and Stone’s interest in Charlotte and Robert. Nicely done.

  2. All born on the same day? Gotta be important. Nice 8.

  3. It sounds like a really closed group if they are all born on the same day. Can Charlotte and Robert really get in, or is there something more hiding in the corner?

  4. Jenna Jaxon says:

    i love the names you’ve given your characters! Stone is such an unusual name–love it! I too think it significant that they were all born on the same day. Can’t wait to find out what that portends. Great, provocative 8.

  5. Lauren Smith says:

    nice set up. I see the potential plot conflicts that can develop from the close-knit group and the new girl outsider. I can’t wait to read next week’s!

  6. An intriguing group of friends there.

  7. Kate Warren says:

    The line about them friends since birth will flow better if you change it to something like “since the day they were born, all four on the same day,…”

    Great names. I especially like Stone. It’s strong. Wondering how Charlotte will play into this group dynamic.

  8. The dynamic of these six people is fascinating, so many ways it can play out, all of them intriguing. and the teen years, being in high school (even without the mysterious destiny),makes it an especially high stakes time for them. Really a terrific snippet!

  9. kaycimorgan says:

    Nice snippet. Can’t wait to see where this is going.

  10. Carrie-Anne says:

    That’s pretty neat how they were all born on the same day.

  11. Hmm… Why do I have a feeling that the fact that they were all born on the same day is rather significant? And how are Robert and Charlotte going to fit into this little dynamic, I wonder?

  12. susanroebuck says:

    Hi Sue! I’m coming back into the bloggersphere and trying to catch up. I’d love to have friends all born on the same day – do your characters all share the same characteristics? It’d be difficult for other people to join their little group though. Nice #8

    • Sue says:

      yea! Good to see you
      why would you like friends born on same day??
      I don’t think they do share same characteristics – working on that

  13. Gemma Parkes says:

    Robert and Charlotte might find things a little difficult! Enjoyed this snippet.

  14. When the same day must be an important thing. Wonder what day Charlotte was born on and how she’ll affect the group.

    History Sleuth’s Writing mysteries

  15. Interesting entry. Wonder what it’s all leading to…

  16. Love this age group, and you’ve established a great ensemble cast that promises to tell a great story. More please!

  17. VR Barkowski says:

    You’ve done your job well! Can’t wait to find out why Stone is so interested in Charlotte and Robert. It’s clear Charlotte is going to have a profound effect on Robert, but how does Stone know?

    Another way to address the “all on the same day” ambiguity would be simply to insert the word “born” and eliminate the unnecessary “on” — The four had been friends since birth, all BORN the same day, June 11.

    • Sue says:

      Nope Stone has no idea at this point the profound effect Charlotte will have on Robert. Or why
      and thank you for the other bit. As I said – name your price 😀

  18. Pingback: WeWriWa – Treats | sassyspeaks

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