Hump Day Hook – Quinn


It’s Hump Day…and once again it’s time for our group to share an excerpt from a current book or a WIP.  I’m continuing with my new fantasy, coming of age WIP.


Last week we met the four main characters in The Children.

 Since they have a free period between classes they’ve gathered in the park across the street from the school.


As the group headed toward their favourite picnic table, Stone’s peripheral vision picked up two older boys staring at Quinn. He turned his head and smirked back at them, she’s mine, then glanced at his girlfriend  who had let go of his hand to catch up to Vonny. No doubt to finish their conversation regarding the war of 1812, not surprising since they were both history buffs. Quinn never acknowledged her followers; he wasn’t even sure she noticed them. Males watching Quinn was a regular occurrence. Stone understood why of course.  With her blonde-red hair, blue-green eyes and shapely curves, she was impossible to disregard. She must have felt his gaze since she looked back over her shoulder and grinned.

When they reached the table and unloaded their back packs, Quinn and Kelly dashed to the ice cream stand, pistachio for her and chocolate for him.  Vonny strolled to the corner store for a cherry coke and Stone dug out a juice from his bag,  plopped down on the bench, stretched his long legs out before him,  and leaning against the table  opened his drink.




This entry was posted in Fiction, Hump Day Hook, Writing and tagged , , . Bookmark the permalink.

8 Responses to Hump Day Hook – Quinn

  1. Jessica Subject says:

    Interesting insight into these characters. 🙂

  2. Great hook, well done!

  3. pennyalley says:

    Good job. Nice hook this week!

  4. R Lee Smith says:

    Nice development of your characters! Looking forward to reading more!

  5. Now I’m hungry lol 🙂

  6. VR Barkowski says:

    Excellent job showing how unaffected Quinn is—she only has eyes for Stone (and vice versa)! Be careful of pronoun ambiguities. The first ‘he’ sounds as though it refers to one of the two older boys, and the second ‘he’ to one of the followers—consider replacing both with ‘Stone.’ Also, because the second sentence begins with Stone and ends with Quinn, it would be clearer if it were divided. Easy fix with a period after “his girlfriend” and a new sentence beginning with “Quinn had let go…”

    Great development for these characters. Well done!

    VR Barkowski

  7. pippajay says:

    All sounds far too calm, so something must be coming…

  8. I love these characters.. It all flows so well..xx

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