WeWriWa – And the Hat


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So the kids are still in the park, almost done :D, and Stone is reminding them what happened at the cottage on the lake when they were ten. Robert was with them also… the reason eludes me. The kids had walked into town from the cottage and Quinn mentioned it was a bloody long walk but they got a ride home —  they hitch hiked and got home after dark. I’ve edited to get a coherent 8 sentences.


Stone is first speaker

“We couldn’t go out of our parents’ sight for three days. They said it was dangerous to hitch hike and explained why.

And your dad,” Kelly turned to  Quinn, “said if we did that again, which we wouldn’t, we should have called them to pick us up. They still would have been upset but they’d know we were safe.”

 (stone) “When Robert got back his dad was furious but his mum said, ‘Oh well, all’s well that ends well,’ and she didn’t punish him. She’s always cleaning up after his messes, begging the school to pass him even when he doesn’t do the work and not allowing him to develop any responsibility for his own actions.”

 Stone’s contempt was palpable.

Kelly  finished his cone and wiped his hands on a paper serviette,  “Jeez he gloated for the whole time we were grounded; And I wish he didn’t wear his hat all the time even at meals.”

“Yup that’s another thing my aunt lets him get away with.”




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25 Responses to WeWriWa – And the Hat

  1. Robert is sounding like a spoiled brat … and maybe a user. Interesting. (wondered if the is should be switched to was in Stone’s para where he is referring to Robert’s mother’s behavior) Another nice #8 of developing the characters attitudes/personalities.

  2. Susan is right. You’ve done a great job with character development in this scene.

  3. I really feel as if I know these kids, you do such a terrific job presenting them in your excerpts!

  4. Well, we’re certainly getting their views on each other.

  5. Robert has his mother where he wants her. He sounds a bit spoiled at this point. Great job showing the kids’ characters.

  6. Nice setting up the scene. I’ll bet everyone’s in for a spin.

  7. Cara Bristol says:

    Ah, the hat. Such an offense!

  8. Robert should be careful. His friends are starting to resent his gloating.

  9. Gemma Parkes says:

    Hm, someone is going to have to learn new habits! Wonderful insight.

  10. caitlinstern says:

    Robert comes across as the bad guy–spoiled, allowed to get his own way, and rubbing it in their faces that he wasn’t punished.
    If he isn’t the bad guy, then I’m interested to see why he did those things… Intriguing.

  11. Yes, nice job with character development…but that hat thing is annoying! I hope he gets what’s coming to him. 🙂

  12. Millie Burns says:

    Is Robert a jerk…or is stone filled with the green-eyed monster? Nicely done!

  13. Wow, Robert sounds so spoiled but it’s not his fault seeing his mum’s way of raising him. 😦

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