At Night’s End for Blogophilia 24.6


It was nearly morning. The three girls knew the night of fun would end at sun’s rise. The curly haired blonde with the face of porcelain and blue dress cried. “Oh I don’t want it to be over.”

The dark haired girl in the red dress and white apron scolded. “We will yet have another night to play.”

The red haired girl in the gold evening gown said, “I wish we could sing and dance all the time.” The three girls, feeling the first rays of the new day, climbed onto the white shelves.

Emily would wake soon and would look for her dolls.

 

This drabble written originally for a friend’s prompt of “It was nearly morning.”

Painting found on google

Revised for Blogophilia Challenge

It was nearly morning.

The three girls knew at sun’s rise  the night of frenzied mirth  would end.

The cookies were eaten long ago by the girl in the pink skirt. She lay asleep in the corner under the window with the starched white curtains.

The curly haired blonde, in a blue dress, with a face of porcelain cried. “Oh I don’t want it to be over.”

The dark haired girl in the red dress and white apron scolded, “We will yet have another night to play.”

The red haired girl in the gold evening gown whined, “I wish we could sing and dance forever.” She glowered at her weary lover sitting in the yellow chair.

The three girls, feeling the first rays of the new day, climbed onto the white shelves pulling the girl in the pink skirt and the tired love-struck boy after them.

Emily would wake soon and would look for her dolls.

***

written for Blogophilia Week 24.6 – Uncontrollable Laughter

Bonus Points:

(Hard, 2 pts): Quote Lucille Ball *

(Easy, 1 pt): Include someone wearing a pink skirt doing something for cookies

* The following Lucille Ball quote inspired the red haired girl’s weary lover

Once in his life, every man is entitled to fall madly in love with a gorgeous redhead.

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14 Responses to At Night’s End for Blogophilia 24.6

  1. I like the revised version because it has a bit more detail 😉 Got my computer back – yay!

  2. trev says:

    I see we have another victim of the chair Sue! …
    not sure I could sleep in a YELLOW chair girl… LOL
    I loved how you weaved in the challenges Sue… quite seamlessly I thought… 🙂
    You didn’t disturb the fairy like innocence of the original passage …. quite lovely!
    Who knows what our toys get up to when we sleep…. these dolls seem to be having a ball….
    just think having a party each and every night …. in reality we wouldn’t last a week love!… LOL
    loved it Sue… xxx

  3. Marvin says:

    I like the revision but feel so sad for those lovely dolls! 8 points Earthling! 🙂

  4. Tyler/Chuck says:

    I would take it a step further – at least once in his life every man should fall madly in love wioth a bodacious redhead

  5. VR Barkowski says:

    You definitely met the challenge, Sue, and I like both excerpts. I’m leaning toward the first one because the “zinger” comes at the end. But the second has more detail, and if I hadn’t read the first one, I wouldn’t have known about Emily (e.g. pink skirt girl), and the “zinger” would have come at the end. Does that makes sense?

    VR Barkowski

  6. Myke Todd says:

    I love the place this was written from… from the world of the supernatural. I love anything from the world of the supernatural that does not keep me awake or make me sleep with all the lights on. Very clever, Sweet Sue.

    signed: Myke

  7. I like the revised version 😉 Great job, Sue!

  8. susanroebuck says:

    I didn’t know about this challenge, Sue – I wish I had. What a lovely story. I started reading, loved the first version and thought, “how clever” (especially with the picture) but then went onto the second and am awestruck. That’s book material, Sue – get to it. Was it one guy with all those girls in lovely dresses? Wowza!!!

  9. BarbaraK aka fiddlbarb says:

    Such wonderful storytelling. Awesome Blogophilia 24.6! ~barb k~

  10. The details you used made everything so very clear. As usual, your crisp writing makes for great reading.

  11. Lynn Seraphina DeVrieze says:

    Very detailed and vivid write, loved it!

  12. nissmech says:

    This is not drabble! A very creative write, both the first and the revision. 🙂

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