Description rewrite


I am preparing to publish a book of my short writings. It’s called The Bench. Some of you are acquainted with my work, some not so much. In either case, could you please look at my draft description (blurb) and offer any comments, and I mean ANY comments.

The first one is the original, the second is one of many re-writes

The description will be used on the book cover and for marketing.

The Bench’s 60 year history is told in six drabbles, 600 words. It’s a unique method for storytelling; hence the title of the collection.

For the imaginative reader who loves words and appreciates variety The Bench includes something for everyone whether you’re seeking the powerfully evocative, unabashedly strange or simply entertaining; perfect when taking a break on a bench or anywhere else.

You never know whom you will meet.

A man might enthrall you with his life story or a thoroughly modern vampire might regale you with his stand up comedy routine.

Cast your eyes to the garden and explore the magical colours of love between a flower and a butterfly.

Better yet, tune into the person standing just outside your peripheral vision reciting poetry and concentrate, you may hear the lingering strands of the last dance, or a symphony in words.

Original, concisely woven tales, that at the end  frees  your mind to conjure up its own interpretations and conclusions. 

 (2)

A collection of poetry and very short fiction from the mundane to the fanciful

 Using in a unique style of storytelling that sets the tone for the book, the first entry tells a bench’s 60 year history in six stanzas of 100 words each. 

 For the imaginative reader who loves words and appreciates variety, The Bench includes something for everyone whether you’re seeking the powerfully evocative, unabashedly strange or simply entertaining; perfect when taking a break on a bench or anywhere else.

You never know whom you will meet.

 A man might enthrall you with his life story or a thoroughly modern vampire might regale you with his stand up comedy routine.

Cast your eyes to the garden and explore the magical colours of love between a flower and a butterfly.

Better yet, tune into the person standing just outside your peripheral vision reciting poetry and concentrate, you may hear the lingering strands of the last dance, or a symphony in words.

Original, concisely woven story telling that at the end allows your mind to conjure up its own meanings and conclusions. 

 Which description do you prefer? Which one makes  you want to take a peek inside knowing you can do it when you have a few spare minutes?

I met with the design team Thursday for the interior. My cover artist and I are throwing ideas back and forth.

Thank you all so much

Advertisements
This entry was posted in Writing and tagged . Bookmark the permalink.

8 Responses to Description rewrite

  1. The second one for sure.

  2. Josh says:

    Definitely the second.

  3. Jenna Jaxon says:

    The second one, hands down. Looks like a great collection.

  4. Lee S Brooks says:

    Yup. Scrap the first one. Second one describes it better!

  5. historysleuth1 says:

    Second one is much better. I did not understand the opening line in the first one, so it made the rest out of perspective. In the second one I get that it’s what the bench has heard over the last 60 years, so the rest makes total sense. I vote for #2.

  6. trev says:

    you did a good job of rewriting the intro Sue…
    MY VOTE IS FOR THE SECOND ONE!… 🙂 xxx

  7. I’ve already sent you my opinions 😉

Aw come on say something....

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s