Six Sentence Sunday Nov 4


Yea! It’s Sunday and time for Six Sentence Sunday

Every week participants post six sentences from something they are writing – or have written. It’s a lot of fun and really a great way to meet new writers!

And I’ve met some terrific people. Thank you !

Be sure to check out the other great participants and thanks so much for stopping by.

The Misfits is a group of four couples, consisting of four who work as part of the mid-management team for the devil, Mr.D, as soul collectors, and their partners, who are human.

Set up This is from chapter 4 the last one I drafted before starting NaNo where I hope to write the meat of the piece. It’s the evening of the first day Gideon and Phoebe met at an accident scene. Later he asked her out for dinner  In Nineteen Hundred he had not told Kathryn what he was and dire consequences resulted.

Listening to Phoebe describe her dreams, his heart screeched to a halt, and the restaurant’s background noises faded.

When his heart proceeded to pump it boomed in his ears like a parade’s marching band.

Her visions appeared to be scenes out of Kathryn’s life: the fireworks on the night they met, New Years Eve 1899, after they played Whist, he wore a mustache in the last century, the dining room of the boarding house, the scent of flowers sounded consistent with Kathryn’s childhood room which she had mentioned to him and of course the horse…

 Gideon did not know what to say, or do.

He felt uncomfortable, unwell, confused and bewildered; his clammy hands clutched the linen serviette in an attempt to dry them.

A minute later chills crawled up his spine. He shivered.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

This entry was posted in Fiction, Six Sentence, Writing and tagged , , . Bookmark the permalink.

34 Responses to Six Sentence Sunday Nov 4

  1. Jessica Subject says:

    Nice show of his reaction! 🙂

  2. Wonderful detail as far as his response to her visions. You’ve communicated his dread very well.

  3. Eleri Stone says:

    Creepy. Is he going to tell her?

  4. Gem Sivad says:

    Hmmm. Intriguing scene that definitely pulls me in. More!

  5. Carrie Crain says:

    I gotta a creepy vibe about this too. It’s interesting and makes me curious for more! I’m so happy you’re doing NaNoWriMo!!

  6. Gave me shivers and completely pulled me in. Can’t wait to see what happens next. Great Six. 🙂

  7. Gemma Parkes says:

    Wonderfully descriptive piece, l could really feel what he was feeling!

  8. lol poor guy. Can’t wait to see where it’s going!

  9. Nice description of his emotional turmoil.

  10. Vivien Dean says:

    His reaction evokes a whole host of feelings, a sense of eeriness, dread, as well as anticipation. Well done!

  11. Elin Gregory says:

    Nice show. And interesting implication in Phoebe’s dream ‘memories’. Is he getting a second chance?

  12. Dee Carney says:

    This is very intriguing!

  13. Ana says:

    Nice six! It made me wonder what will happen next.

  14. bluerose says:

    Cool! Love where this is going!

  15. Jenna Jaxon says:

    Having read Nineteen Hundred, I know what’s going on. Delicious in a spooky kind of way. I’m sure he’s shocked and suspects the truth. Great description of that, BTW. 🙂 Really nice to see the cool, calm Gideon upset. Adds new dimensions to his character.

  16. Definitely intriguing. 🙂 And great description of his reactions. Looking forward to the next six!

  17. Nice build up of tension and I loved her ‘visions’.

  18. Lot’s of interesting things happening in this snippet. Great six.

  19. J.A. Beard says:

    Lots of good anticipatory tension there.

  20. Pingback: Six Sentence Sunday Nov 11 | sassyspeaks

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